As some of you may have noticed, I have once again deleted my anonymous twitter account. I honestly was just getting too caught up in the 'internet' world, and was starting to hate myself for it. The twitter world especially...everyone is SO materialistic and so full of themselves. Like I know, a username like ''perfect_belle'' you're probably thinking, Summer...that was you, and to be completely honest, when I first started twitter like over a year ago, it was! I was constantly talking about how good I thought I looked, or the stuff that I was buying, but when I sat back and looked at it I realized, that's not who I am. I am not the things I buy, I'm not the outfits I wear, or the makeup or hairstyle I choose. While yes, those things make up who I am, I am not them. They're such a small part of me, but unfortunately that's the only thing you guys ever get the chance to see.
So anyway, getting back on topic, again...on twitter...all I had been seeing before I decided to delete were girls just ripping each other apart. Calling girls ugly for their pic-slips (I know, I've done it generally, and now I kind of feel like I'm contradicting myself, but I've realized my mistakes and have asked for forgiveness, and I hope some of you choose to do the same.), girls posting other girls' nude pictures, girls just generally being mean to each other, and it made me really stop and think about things. As girls, I'm sure most of you know how hard it can be..I'm sure all of us has had the infamous encounter with that one other girl who was just so rude, and manipulative, and just plain old horrible to you for no good apparent reason....like we know how much it sucks when constantly you feel like you're being judged for how you look, what you eat, what designers are in your closet, or in your makeup bag. It literally has happened to ALL of us (and some of us are probably even guilty of doing it to others). And that's where my question lies. Why, do we as girls...who know what it's like, feel the need to put that hurt on someone else....and I probably shouldn't even say 'girls'...most of my followers I know are out of high school, and probably are in their 20's, so why do we as WOMEN think that it's okay to break each other down still? We should be building each other up, and supporting each other when we are down. It's just so surprising to me how quick all of us are to judge. I literally spend a good 5 minutes (way longer than it should take) analyzing whether or not I should put a picture up on instagram, just because I'm worried about what other people will think; asking myself questions like 'does my makeup look too dark' 'do my fingers look ugly' 'does this salad actually look good, or am I just super hungry', just because I'm worried what people will think when they look at my pictures.
And this has lead me to the main reason why I had to say good-bye to the twitter world once and for all, and this is me explaining my instagram handle as well, a slight disclaimer, if you will. I AM BY NO MEANS PERFECT. Nope, not one bit. I skip workouts, I eat candy....(a LOT of candy....it's probably actually not okay, at all...I may or may not be eating a mini 3 muskateers right now, and I have probably had four or five already today..don't judge me, that's the whole point of me telling you this), I get breakouts, I get super moody and get mad at little things for no apparent reason, I curse, I don't talk to my parents as much as I should, all of my friends stopped talking to me when I moved down here to Tennessee, I would much rather wear sweatpants and a t-shirt over a cute outfit any day, and I cry when I watch movies or TV shows....goodness some days I don't even brush my hair....and not one of you can say anything about anything that I just said, because I know for a fact that each and everyone of you do the exact. same. thing. My point is, I am not who I portrayed to be on the internet, I'm not all 'home cooked meals, cute outfits, starbucks every day' all the time. That's just the portion of my life that I was choosing to share with you. I don't go shopping all the time....I'm actually really broke, and should not be allowed inside a Target ever again, because I'll end up in the street if I spend another dime there..(that's an exaggeration, but you get my point.)
This has been a totally jumbled post, and I'm not even sure if it makes any sense, but it was just a bunch of stuff that I felt NEEDED to be put out there. Us as WOMEN need to be building each other up..not tearing each other apart, and I STRONGLY urge you all to step away from your social media sites and ask yourselves if you're sharing who YOU really are. ESPECIALLY those of you with anonymous accounts...you're the ones who truly can be yourselves, with out the judgement of others who may know you in real life. If you can't just be yourself and let who you really are shine, you're going to have a really sad life. I've been away from it for about 3 days now, and I already feel so SO much better about myself. Even my boyfriend has said he's seen a change in me.
Now I'll leave you with this lovely un-edited picture of myself. No makeup, no fancy hair, just me.
Stay Sweet,
xoxo
Summer (the not so perfect_belle)
