"What Are You Looking For?"

I really hate  referring to myself as a dating 'expert' mostly because that would imply that I actually get to go on a lot of dates...false..but I have had conversations with enough of the opposite sex to know what's what about the topic.  Aside from the typical questions I'm asked every time I match with someone new on tinder...ya know, "What do you do?" "What do you do for fun?" "Is your name Summer because you're hot?" and my all time favorite "Will you sit on my face?",  there is one that sticks out a lot to me...."What do you look for in a guy?"  Now I'm asked this question at least once a day, and it's made me think a lot. Not about what I'm necessarily 'looking' for, but I found my self wondering if people ever actually find EVERYTHING they're looking for.  I'm writing this post to tell you my answer to this question:

I think if I were to go around with a list of things that I did/didn't want in a guy I would never be happy.  Let's be honest...my dream guy list is pretty extensive. I've gotten in the habit of leaving someone or becoming disinterested in them the second they say something/do something that I find doesn't meet my 'list'.  There could be character traits out there that I didn't even know I liked..if I go into a relationship with a closed off mind, how would I ever figure that out? Another point..how is going into a date with a list of expectations fair to that guy at all? Dating is hard. REALLY hard. But it's supposed to feel fun.  I'm not going to put you on the hot seat the minute we sit down to dinner, that's just crazy. So I want you, the next time you go on a date to go in with an open mind. You may find out that you actually can have a good time, and you won't be running home to your roommate saying "everything was perfect....but" (unless that but is that he was rude, or like did drugs with you in the car or something like that...those things are never okay).



Switching gears now to something I've learned during my time spent meeting new people...ALWAYS be yourself.  I have found it so so so much easier.  I've stopped walking around my room to get that perfect selfie lighting for a snapchat (don't judge me), I've stopped trying to put on a front.  The way I see it is..you're going to like me...or you're not going to like me. If you come over at 10 o'clock after I've been at work all day, you can expect me to be in sweatpants with my hair up. Let's get real..I've been at work in heels and a dress all day. I want to be comfy if you're coming over for pizza and beer. (replace beer with whiskey, I'm a girl, and we don't drink beer). But really. I hope someone understands where I'm coming from. I feel like this is a hard topic to get your point across on.  Obviously I'm not going to be a slob every time I see you, but sometimes I just don't want to try, and you should be okay with that, because I expect you to do the same.

So tune in next week with another "dating advice from the girl who goes on zero dates"
I know, I know, I'm hilarious.

xoxo,
Summer

If You're Not First, You're Last

I am a perfectionist...so normally I'm not one to pick out my flaws and talk about them all over the internet.  Then I remember that I'm a real person, and that I'm not 'perfect' and I sit down and write a blog about it.  Today I want to talk about a problem that I have that recently has REALLY started to bother me.

I am such a sore loser. Like seriously....the worst. I am super competitive by nature, and always have been. It's cute when you're young, but as an adult it's really starting to embarrass me.  I need to remember that I am NOT the best at EVERYTHING, and I'm not going to be.

Honestly, I have no idea where I was going with this, and have TOTALLY lost my train of thought, so I'm going to switch gears a little...

Today I posted a status on Facebook about finally being the happiest that I have been in a really long time. Maybe my whole life even.  I have gone through a lot in the last year, and to finally be putting it all behind me is taking a lot of stress and unhappiness off of my shoulders.  I have learned that life is too precious and short to be staying angry and being filled with resentment towards people who may have hurt us in the past.  Being mad will get you nowhere.  Trust me.

So, I want to encourage you to let go of any anger you may have towards anything.  Channel that anger into changing your life around.  That's what I did, and it worked out great.  If you take a step back and look at all of the things in your life that make you truly happy; i.e. living with your best friend, talking to cute boys, and eating cheese fries, you'll realize that you're a bad bitch and no one can tell you different.

At the end of the day, the only opinion that matters is your opinion of yourself.  If ex boyfriends hate you, let them hate you...like they're an ex and you're better off without them.

These are the best years of my life, so I'm not going to let anger and resentment hold me back from enjoying my time.

Cheers to the New Year!

xoxo
Summer

Let Me Tell Ya Bout My Best Friend

Sometimes you go through life wondering if anyone will ever understand you.  I was one of those girls growing up who always seemed to be the 'third wheel' in friendships. Nothing wrong with that really. I was the one that got to hear all of the dirt on the other one and no one really ever had anything bad to say about me because I wasn't around enough for them to get sick of me.

I remember in high school seeing girl's posts on facebook of their girls' nights and being sad because I never was apart of them. I mean it was mostly my choice. I'm not one for drama, and I'm not one for spending time with someone who 2 days prior sat and talked a ton of shit about me.

The older I got the more concerned I became....like when I get married one day who the heck would I have in my wedding?! I mean sure there were the girls I always talked with at work and stuff, but after my shift was done I wouldn't talk to them until the next time I worked. I had friends in college, but after I left that was it..we all kind of just went our separate ways.

I'm a huge believer in the saying 'everything happens for a reason' and I honestly 100% believe that the reason I met that loser online and ended up moving to Memphis is so that I could meet my absolute best friend and sister Lauren. She literally is the only person that knows everything about me and still thinks I'm great.  She loves me for all of my flaws and that's the best thing about a best friend. I mean I'm by no means perfect, but she's still there for me all the time.

We have had our disagreements, but it's all been for the best and has only made us closer friends.  There's no pettiness EVER, and we are just fun. Like she got me sick, and I didn't even care! There's no one else I'd rather be stuck at home with! Granted I'm so ready for us to be over this sickness so we can get back to our double tinder dates, and margarita nights!

I am basically writing you this to tell you not to be discouraged.  It took me 22 years to find my best friend! But I'm so so glad I did!

I love you Lauren! I can't wait for this summer because we are going to make so many new friends, and have so so so much fun! I'm sure there will be nights when we are up crying over stupid boys, but I promise to be right there for you through everything and the next night we will have hotter guys buying our drinks!