"What Are You Looking For?"

I really hate  referring to myself as a dating 'expert' mostly because that would imply that I actually get to go on a lot of dates...false..but I have had conversations with enough of the opposite sex to know what's what about the topic.  Aside from the typical questions I'm asked every time I match with someone new on tinder...ya know, "What do you do?" "What do you do for fun?" "Is your name Summer because you're hot?" and my all time favorite "Will you sit on my face?",  there is one that sticks out a lot to me...."What do you look for in a guy?"  Now I'm asked this question at least once a day, and it's made me think a lot. Not about what I'm necessarily 'looking' for, but I found my self wondering if people ever actually find EVERYTHING they're looking for.  I'm writing this post to tell you my answer to this question:

I think if I were to go around with a list of things that I did/didn't want in a guy I would never be happy.  Let's be honest...my dream guy list is pretty extensive. I've gotten in the habit of leaving someone or becoming disinterested in them the second they say something/do something that I find doesn't meet my 'list'.  There could be character traits out there that I didn't even know I liked..if I go into a relationship with a closed off mind, how would I ever figure that out? Another point..how is going into a date with a list of expectations fair to that guy at all? Dating is hard. REALLY hard. But it's supposed to feel fun.  I'm not going to put you on the hot seat the minute we sit down to dinner, that's just crazy. So I want you, the next time you go on a date to go in with an open mind. You may find out that you actually can have a good time, and you won't be running home to your roommate saying "everything was perfect....but" (unless that but is that he was rude, or like did drugs with you in the car or something like that...those things are never okay).



Switching gears now to something I've learned during my time spent meeting new people...ALWAYS be yourself.  I have found it so so so much easier.  I've stopped walking around my room to get that perfect selfie lighting for a snapchat (don't judge me), I've stopped trying to put on a front.  The way I see it is..you're going to like me...or you're not going to like me. If you come over at 10 o'clock after I've been at work all day, you can expect me to be in sweatpants with my hair up. Let's get real..I've been at work in heels and a dress all day. I want to be comfy if you're coming over for pizza and beer. (replace beer with whiskey, I'm a girl, and we don't drink beer). But really. I hope someone understands where I'm coming from. I feel like this is a hard topic to get your point across on.  Obviously I'm not going to be a slob every time I see you, but sometimes I just don't want to try, and you should be okay with that, because I expect you to do the same.

So tune in next week with another "dating advice from the girl who goes on zero dates"
I know, I know, I'm hilarious.

xoxo,
Summer